Sep 26, 2009

Such is life

Funny how life works isn't it? as much as I struggled to go out today and not stay home for I knew I was only going to get desperate and a feeling of imprisonment I stayed, all day long; which is actually the thing I was kind of meant to be doing in the bigger scheme of life of which we're all part, now, I don't personally believe in such thing as fate, for nothing is fated to happen, no paranormal force writes divine scripts which we are supposed to play with no way out, believe what you might, we are but threads in this infinite tapestry of people that composes the realitiy we all live in, and as threads often do, some threads touch each no matter what color or pattern they are part of, they touch, in some point or the other they touch, not all touch each other, some are too far away to be by each other's site but still, when the tapestry is woven around by a strong wind the fabric grazes, in different places, places the cords that build it -which they didn't know even existed- meeting up with new and different and exciting colors, different textures, different material, but threads all the same, some are a little stained, some are pure and clean and some others are just filthy, you could as well cut around them and no one would ever miss it, but still would leave a horrible void and then the mantle would have lost something important when looked from afar.

What this means? I'll let you do the thinking.

I wanted to go out today, more than anything, had to do a bunch of things because I didn't want to be home all day and still I just couldn't do it, not because of a physical or emotional problem, but I think here was the place I was supposed to be today, got to have a lot of emotional conversations, had my deal of laughs, of surprises and tears, and as always I owe it all to the people here. Still life is something bigger than what I can think of, such a big world and we're all but tiny pieces not more important than a grain of sand in our singularity, but as important as a mountain as a whole, but don't think wrong, the grain at the top should by any means feel more important than the one on the bottom. Still not making any sense am I?

All I know is at the moment I'm writing this: some guy is getting laid in Utah and having -hopefully- the time of his life, another boy in Cali is feeling down because he just broke up with someone important to him, down in Ireland two guys should be sleeping happily knowing they are alike and close together and never knew it before, a man is going to wake up to his lifepartner and kiss his offspring and carry on with the same life he has for years now with a little secret of his own, and a boy in the US is probably getting a mail from me were I tell him I'm so sorry I've failed to him even though he's probably having the time of his life, and I don't even know why I feel I've failed misserably in helping him *sigh* and the only thing they all have in common is I know them, and love them so much, each and everyone of them -though not only them but most of the people I've met- entered into my life like a burglar in the night and stole my heart.

Still, funny thing, you ever wondered why the URL of my blog is Loveless in Mexico? besides the obvious part that I'm in México, why Loveless when I always sign all my comments with "Love"?

Scheiße it's so late now, have to run into my bed now, chat to you another day.

My love to all


Aek said...

Awww. I'm a bit tipsy right now, but I'm going to answer anyway. You have profound words here and you keep me wondering in my current state. At least know that I haven't found love tonight. It may be a while for me yet.

Octavius said...

I am the strand 42 stitches up and 42 stitches to the left. If the wind conditions are right, I will be right there to give you a hug mate.

Courage and Honour!


Anonymous said...

Oddly enough I did follow everything you said. Not sure what's going on but remember the sun will always comes up and that day will be a good one

Anonymous said...

what a nice post - really made me smile

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