Jul 27, 2010

OMG! today is my Blogiversary!!

This calls for a celebration!!

bi *complejo

It is with an incredible feeling of satisfaction that I announce that a day like today only one year ago I made one of  the hardest decisions I´ve ever made, yes you might think it´s absurd, but I was one of the most private people you´d ever meet -that added to the fact that my writing skills suck-, is that it was a real hard choice for me to undergo. I actually remember how nervous I was the first times while writing down my true feelings, it made me scare to death thinking that someone might find out what I was really thinking or believed that if someone knew something about me they would use it against me.

Today however, I have to thank you all for a year of following my life, where I have learned so much from myself and the world, experienced so many sad and happy moments, that had brought me tears and laughter; however, the most important thing that this place has brought me is the friendship from wonderful people from across the globe I would never have met any other way.

I´ve been in touch with so many people that has come and has gone, some of them I keep track of, some others just disappeared from my life, some I´ve never heard of again just like that, some others I´ve had fights with and gone away, you must know that all of that I regret and if given a chance I´d make things better, for all the people that read this, all of my new found friends, all of you are the real reason I´ve grown, learned and become a better person, for all this I wish to dedicate this one year Aniversary to all of you that made this possible and have given me so much with out even realizing it.

THANK YOU!!!

from the bottom of my heart for following the life of this silly boy.

LOVE
DZYAN

Jul 23, 2010

Woops! forgot a title for this one

There is no better place in the world to be writing than the one I´m at right now, and that is because I´m between my sheets, five minutes ago I was freezing to death though and it´s all because of my sister.

I love her to death and would do anything for her, today that took the form of a international folkloric dance festival that took place in an open space with no protection of anykind, so what does that meant? five hours of standing under the rain watching group after group of dancers from all across the globe. I will not lie, I went there only to take care of her, but in the end I had a real good time, and who wouldn´t when you get to see guys from across the globe moving in suggestive ways all across the stage.

Must admit though, I´m a little jealous of my sister, she is in a school dedicated to develop the artistic potential of their high-schoolers so they have all kind of dancers, actors, paintors and singers and my parents are so supporting of her as well as my brother and me, however I am jealous because I know I could´ve fit in a school like that, I mean come on who wouldn´t be happier learning how to do backflips instead of being inside a lab doing tests to crap -no, really, that´s what I learn in high-school- I know times when I was her age were really tight and if I didn´t get the chance to do that is because we were more worried with what -if anything- we were going to eat that day and I´m glad we no longer have to do that, so I´m tremendously happy for my sis because she will have the chance I didn´t have, and as for me, well, I know two things to be true, one: the only thing that comes between yourself and your dreams is yourself, and two: it´s never too late to learn, so I´m seriously thinking about my choices, but for now that´s what they´ll remain, thoughts, good night every body.

Love
Me

Jul 17, 2010

Me on the streets

One thing I haven´t done in a while when I log in is check out my dashboard on this blogger thing, so it was  pleasing -and surprising- to know that it turns out I reached one hundred followers -omg the humanity!- I know I´ve been a long time around so people that started reading this blog have come and gone so I´d be quite foolish on my behalf to think that 100 people really read what I write in here -honestly who the f*çk cares about what happens to a single guy that doesn´t post pictures of naked guys or talks about his sex life [oh, that´s right, there IS something called sex life, I wonder whatever happened to mine? OH Shit! How long it´s been since last I had sex?! now I´m freaking out! How long´s it been?! gotta do something about that, and soon, any volunteers?] what was I talking about?... oh, right right- so I went and checked on google analytics and turns out I have way more people reading than I ever thought I had or would ever had to be honest, so thanks a bunch to everyone that still reads and follows what nonsense I write about, really appreciate it.

So now to the topic at hand; a question has been running around my head for a while now, it comes around like an annoying fly that upsets your peace, doesn´t seem to want to go away no matter how much you flap in the air or strike the walls with a rolled up newspaper and as much as you try to kill it it´s just impossible to get rid of the buzzing sound inside your head, you get the idea. So this thing is actually a question I think was published on Craig´s blog that states:

If you saw yourself on the street would you ogle yourself? (you get what i mean) How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 in terms of hotness? :)

To which I would answer Hell yeah! I rate myself as a solid 9, because let´s face it, to be a 10 is just an illusion, only man who is a ten is a man you haven´t met, idealize or have only seen in your dreams -so yes, I have a high morale and maybe think too much of me but that doesn´t hurt anyone... or it hasn´t so far- however the part that really hit me was that after thinking if I´d "ogle" myself if I saw myself in the street what would happen next? I mean there´s nothing wrong with a glimpse at guys specially hot ones, however, what would happen next? what would I do afterwards? and then it hit me: I would do nothing!

The idea struck me like a bucket of cold water, "what do you mean you would do nothing?" -I asked myself- "well MAYBE not nothing, I would probably just walk right next to him [myself] like that guy is not even there" OMG, that´s TRUE! I do that often, when I see someone I like I tend to act like he´s not even there and what´s worse, they usually act the same way! it´s like if I don´t see you maybe I´ll be interesting enough for you to want to talk to me, and that´s the most stupid thing I´ve ever thought about! no wonder my sex life it´s non-existent! man, Have to do something about it and quickly if I want to keep on with a good and healthy sexual life, so there you have it, I suck at this things.

So anyways, don´t  let me die alone here, I´ve told you what would happen to me, do answer what would you do if you saw yourselves on the streets, need to learn about how to approach hot guys. See you around

Love
Me

Jul 14, 2010

Answers for DD

First of all you must know that I´m doing this post against my own will, it´s actually Deeper Daze´s fault I´m writing today, I´m tired, sleepy, grumpy and a little bit sad, but he insisted I did a post today, oh, and by the way, you can go check his new blog at http://deeperdaze.blogspot.com/ -which makes his profile name not as original as one might think but *shrugs*-


As it seems DD doesn´t have a mail I can send my answers to his questions, I´ll have to post them in here -everyone thank DD. lol- So in order of most resent backwards

What I´m up to today?
Well I went to a job fair which was kinda cool because I found a friend that I see a couple of times at the gym and thought was gay, turned out we went to a dinning room after the whole fair thing was done and talked for hours. Turns out my gay-dar never fails, he´s gay, has a bf and seems to have lived a hard life all this time, he´s nice and a great guy to talk to, we got along just fine and it was fun.

However I am sad as I didn´t get the job I really wanted, so right now I´m playing with the idea of going for some alcohol and just forget about the whole thing, it was an AMAZING job.

Another question is, Do I live in México?

Sure do, all my life, Mexico city that is.

So DD, you should really think about getting a msn account, that way I can answer to you directly lol -and maybe use the chance to change your profile name :P

OH, I also want to take this chance to thank the Lesbian & Gay Foundation (http://lgf.org.uk/) in the UK for the shout-outs of my blog, I feel so international now.

Anyways, now I´m off to bed, good night everyone hope tomorrow is a better day

Love
me

Jul 12, 2010

My dad

Ok, so first, gotta apologize on not being around that much, but my internet connection started to suck last week and I get an irregular connection, seemed like the most easy thing to fix but with what resources and education I have I could only made it change if it really wanted to change -sorry, psychologists´ joke, couldn´t help myself- but seems like my dad has solved it, don´t ask me how.

And talking about the devil, today´s my dad´s birthday, YAY! today he turns fifty-two,  which if my math doesn´t fail me he had me when he was 27 and my brother at 25, which is actually my age, OMG, maybe I´m running late to give birth to my own children, heck, he was married when he was my age, guess it´s true what they say, I might be a big slob, maybe, but today´s not about me, it´s about my dad.

Now, Dad and I, we don´t see eye in eye in... well, anything really, we´ve got arguments on an almost daily basis, he complains about how I don´t talk to him that much and I complain about how he talks in the rudest way I know, he has pushed me away from him and I act defensively around him, when I told him I was gay he made a huge ruckus out of it... and yet when it was all over he still stood by my side, he took it like a man and accepted me for who I am; the man worries himself sick whenever I go out at night, will fight my best judgment whenever I feel  like I have to do some activism for gay rights but knows that is something I have to do and will give the evil-eye to any friend I bring home, it´s exasperating.

Dad and I will fight for no reason whatsoever at any given time but the REAL reason we fight so much is quite easy, we are SO much ALIKE. That´s right, I learned from my dad most of the things I know and I don´t mean academic stuff but everything else, he taught me to be a hard-worker, be independent, never give up and solve my problems, so now that I´m older and have learned all this things from him he doesn´t like me because I´m a hard-working, independent and perceverent problem-solver, which is kinda funny.

So dad, I know I´m not the son you wanted me to be, nor the doctor you wanted to have in the family, nor the person that would give you the grandchild you so wanted, in fact I know there´s a gargantuan chance you won´t even read this ever, but I want you to know that I thank everything you´ve done for me for the last 25 years now and want you to know you´ve always been my number one hero and I love you.


Dzyan

Jul 6, 2010

Some time off

First of all gotta say something, I admit it´s hard writing again after so many time away, but have to try or won´t be able to write ever again.

Well, one thing people might not know about me is that coming from one of the most populated cities in the world it is to be expected from me to be a person that has a way in getting himself busy all the time, and you´d be right you´d made such an assumption, I´m quite restless when it comes down to getting work done, so now I´m unemployed this hasn´t changed a bit -Oh! quick update, might be getting a facilitator position for a big pharmaceutical company which makes me real happy but I´m still waiting the final answer from them, guess tomorrow I´ll have to give them a call- What I´m doing then? well to no one´s surprise I´m volunteering at another NGO -well, I was bored and have lots of talents, won´t let them go to waste, lol- and I´m working in favour of male reproductive and sexual health, I guess I´m more in love with the gay community than I could ever care to admit.

Anyways, as to what I am doing, I´m developing workshops and seminars for men to learn how to approach people, initiate conversations and get dates, which is actually really fun to work on, been learning lots of stuff, having so much fun and practising new and old pick-up skills, so it has been a learning experience, lol; now I´m a relationships expert of sorts :P


I will admit that one thing that I love about working in different NGO´s is that I learn so many things about life, people and growing up, so I will recommend anyone if you have a couple of spare hours try to give a little, I´ve received so much.


Oh, one last thing my good friend JP asked me how the Pride parade went, it was really fun, got to go with my second evil ex-boyfriend, and although he ended up depressed -which I admit might be my fault as I think he expected us to hit it again as a couple and I didn´t answer the way he expected- I did have a good time, unfortunately I couldn´t take any pictures as I don´t owe a camera and couldn´t get anyone to lend me theirs. That´s it for today, thanks for your comments and concern, see you soon.


Love
Me

Jul 1, 2010

On the run again

Hello again, must say it feels great to be blogging again, even though not much has happened lately, well, besides from being stood up at a date, but well, not much I can do, I told you already I wasn´t thinking much in dating and stuff since I´ve got little to offer, and truthful to my words haven´t been trying real hard to try and get a date, however this time is a little different as the guy in matter is an old known of mine, actually more than that, it´s actually my first evil-ex-boyfriend, lol; to be completly honest I´m not sure still where this -if anywhere- is going -taking into account this is like the fifth time I´ve tried getting him on a date, so yeah, still can´t rule out the nothing happening thing- Man! I can´t remember when my life turned into this constant walking on eggshells, guess it´s a normal part in the whole graduating and deciding what you going to do with the rest of your life thing, 

I remember those good old times where things didn´t get planned, thought-through or meditated, I just did what I wanted and worry about it later -if ever- ah! guess this is what growing up is all about, getting responsibilities and stuff not so fun. However, I´m still young -regardless of what my behaviour might hint- :P



Bi muhjo


So to brighten my day a few I want to talk about something that to me is really important. If you have known me for more than six-months -six-months? where time goes??- you´d know that I used to run wild and free -no, really- and that it was taken away from me because of a leg injury; well, it´s my pleasure to inform that my leg is strong enough now so that I can go take a 20 min. run without ending limping and crying -don´t laugh, it did happen- so YAY ME!!!  I´m still taking it slowly -again with the slow timing, I´m so 50 years old *facepalm*- so I don´t hurt my leg again, which seems to be working, and I couldn´t be happier. That´s it for today´s rant, thanks for your reading of this old young guy to his every complain, lol, have a great one and don´t forget to comment!

Love
Me

On the run again

Hello again, must say it feels great to be blogging again, even though not much has happened lately, well, besides from being stood up at a date, but well, not much I can do, I told you already I wasn´t thinking much in dating and stuff since I´ve got little to offer, and truthful to my words haven´t been trying real hard to try and get a date, however this time is a little different as the guy in matter is an old known of mine, actually more than that, it´s actually my first evil-ex-boyfriend, lol; to be completly honest I´m not sure still where this -if anywhere- is going -taking into account this is like the fifth time I´ve tried getting him on a date, so yeah, still can´t rule out the nothing happening thing- Man! I can´t remember when my life turned into this constant walking on eggshells, guess it´s a normal part in the whole graduating and deciding what you going to do with the rest of your life thing, 

I remember those good old times where things didn´t get planned, thought-through or meditated, I just did what I wanted and worry about it later -if ever- ah! guess this is what growing up is all about, getting responsibilities and stuff not so fun. However, I´m still young -regardless of what my behaviour might show- :P


Bi muhjo


So to brighten my day a few I want to talk about something that to me is really important. If you have known me for more than six-months -six-months? where time goes??- you´d know that I used to run wild and free -no, really- and that it was taken away from me because of a leg injury; well, it´s my pleasure to inform that my leg is strong enough now so that I can go take a 20 min. run without ending limping and crying -don´t laugh, it did happen- so YAY ME!!!  I´m still taking it slowly -again with the slow timing, I´m so 50 years old *facepalm*- so I don´t hurt my leg again, which seems to be working, and I couldn´t be happier. That´s it for today´s rant, thanks for your reading of this old young guy to his every complain, lol, have a great one and don´t forget to comment!

Love
Me

On the run again

Hello again, must say it feels great to be blogging again, even though not much has happened lately, well, besides from being stood up at a date, but well, not much I can do, I told you already I wasn´t thinking much in dating and stuff since I´ve got little to offer, and truthful to my words haven´t been trying real hard to try and get a date, however this time is a little different as the guy in matter is an old known of mine, actually more than that, it´s actually my first evil-ex-boyfriend, lol; to be completly honest I´m not sure still where this -if anywhere- is going -taking into account this is like the fifth time I´ve tried getting him on a date, so yeah, still can´t rule out the nothing happening thing- Man! I can´t remember when my life turned into this constant walking on eggshells, guess it´s a normal part in the whole graduating and deciding what you going to do with the rest of your life thing, 

I remember those good old times where things didn´t get planned, thought-through or meditated, I just did what I wanted and worry about it later -if ever- ah! guess this is what growing up is all about, getting responsibilities and stuff not so fun. However, I´m still young -regardless of what my behaviour might show- :P

Bi muhjo


So to brighten my day a few I want to talk about something that to me is really important. If you have known me for more than six-months -six-months? where time goes??- you´d know that I used to run wild and free -no, really- and that it was taken away from me because of a leg injury; well, it´s my pleasure to inform that my leg is strong enough now so that I can go take a 20 min. run without ending limping and crying -don´t laugh, it did happen- so YAY ME!!!  I´m still taking it slowly -again with the slow timing, I´m so 50 years old *facepalm*- so I don´t hurt my leg again, which seems to be working, and I couldn´t be happier. That´s it for today´s rant, thanks for your reading of this old young guy to his every complain, lol, have a great one and don´t forget to comment!

Love
Me