May 20, 2010

My day!!

Yeah yeah, I´m still updating my blog irregularly, sorry about that, but today´s an important day, we´re celebrating Psychologists´ day, YAY us!

First time ever as a psychologist and celebrating it makes me feel happy; Job hunting´s been a bitch lately, can´t get an interview for my life, it´s kinda depressing but hopefully soon I´ll get something. Also I´m thinking of getting a job away from home, in another state, maybe moving out, probably would crush my parents, but I need to learn to live by myself, can´t rely on them all my life, Mexican culture is a little different from other places, here, we live with our parents most of our lives, sometimes until we get married, and sometimes not even then, but as I´m not planning on getting married... gotta move outta here.

Oh, and I´ve been trying to post this one for a long long time, so read it as if it was important.

The day I realized I liked guys, yes, yes, it´s a process, and it takes time, but you always remember the moment the "penny drops" in your head. This is such a story.

Some years ago -can´t remember how many and doesn´t really matter- while I was still learning german, I was looking for music in said language to try and sharpen my ear and get it better for an upcoming exam, so in the mean time I found this band called Polarkreis 18, at first I only met them by a song called Allein Allein and thought, man that´s an amazing voice but when I saw the video I was shocked to find out that the one singing it was actually a guy, however it was until I saw this video that made me say, wow, that´s a guy is really hot

So after a few seconds of a mental pause where you have this crystallizing moment where you realize that you just hit the right nail, you just said another guy is hot, and not only one, but three =S -yes I like most of them- so yes, I was there in front of my computer screen, trying to rationalize what I just said out-loud to myself having a panic attack and trying with all my might not to freak-out, since that moment I tried denial, rationalization, rage, more rationalization, depression and even more rationalization, of course that lasted some  months, as I said it is a process, but as I said before, you never forget the moment of realization when something drills its way up from your subconscious and fights to be free, that´s the day you remember for the rest of your life. Now I´m not saying the band members are gay nor that the band is targeted for gay people, all I´m saying is thanks to them I knew I shouldn´t keep on fighting what I really wanted.

So anyways, congrats to psychologists around. See ya all later


May 14, 2010

And the conclusion is...

Ok, first I have to thank everyone for their kind comments and great advice, who´d have said I still have readers, lol, thanks so much indeed.

Well, I just got off the phone with the lady that´s -probably- my next boss, thing is apparently they can´t let me get the vacant if I´m an unopposed candidate, they should see another one and see if he´s as -or more- able than me to come to a conclusion, which really takes a lot of pressure off of me, because now I can go to the other job interview on monday and not be pushed into making a decision on a rush, however I won´t discard this one as it is one of the most important ones I´ve ever had.

Also, yesterday while talking with some friends over the internet I was reminded of how lucky I am to be able to get a chance at two different jobs with so much to go for, this because of all the people my age and younger I know NONE of them has a job or job offers, so I must be doing something good, hehe.

Anyways, thanks all for your comments once again.


Oh, and I almost forget, I´m attending the nutrition center because I´m a total mess at eating, so decided I needed some structure, I´m healthy and fine, however I keep eating like as if I were starving all day long, that can´t be healthy, today is the first day of this diet and I´m feeling fine, just kinda need something sweet but I´m not allowed until a little later, which will be an apple and something like cookies, not used to eat them at all, but doctor´s orders. This is the first time in my life I have a diet but it´s not as bad as I thought it would be, anyways that´s all for now, take care.

May 13, 2010

What to do?

Hey everyone -I wonder if there is still anyone at all, anyways- need some help to make up my mind.

So I´m getting home from a job interview in which I did outstandingly well, tomorrow evening I´ll know whether I´ll be in or out, but chances are pretty much 90% to my advantage, still there´s that 10% which is open because a horrific catastrophe could happen between today and tomorrow. Anyways, I´m applying for a job at the evil office of Human Resources of a huge company that offers a great deal of growing opportunities, blah blah blah, anyways it´s just a job for the short term, I´m planning on going back to school later and some loans to pay.

And it would all be flowers and rainbows but for one thing, I´m being offered a similar job at another organization, however this one is a Non-profit one to which I have an appointment on monday, there I would also get payed, maybe not as much but would get some money, so options are take the safe bet and take the job tomorrow or do the same job in a place where what I do could do some good in the end, what to do? also there´s a big chance I don´t get the second job because I´m competing against other 19 people, but I love non-government organizations, don´t know what to do, been a week since I started sending job applications and now I´ve got two really juicy ones, what´s stronger? my sense of moral right or my greed for money and power?

I´ll try to post tomorrow if I get the job, in the mean time I need some help in this decision, help, pretty please.

Oh, also I went to the doctor to get a diet for the first time in my 25 years to get even more scrumptious, lol, will tell you more about that later, til then.