Jan 31, 2010


Where have I been? that´s easy, not where I´ve wanted to, where I´m heading is the actual trick question, still, I´ve been taking this time to figure that one out.

Let me tell you, I´ve been away from this place for almost a week now, haven´t been reading nor writing a single thing nor tweeting, however I´ve been on msn and skype and every other account I own because I promised a lot of people that whenever they had a problem they could count on me because I would always be there, can´t take that back and can´t  be that selfish as to go away when people need help.

So I´ve been going through some hard thinking about life, wondering what I want of it and what to do to get it, having no money, -finished- career -yet-, job -a paying one-, a boyfriend or a girlfriend -it´s called bisexuality for a reason afterall- so had to take some time to do the thinking.
Today, life as I know it is hanging by a tread, on tuesday -as tomorrow is a day off don´t ask me why- gotta tell my boss and give him my two weeks notice, yup. I´m leaving the LGBTQ center, volunteering there has made my life all that more meaningful and I thank all the people I´ve met for letting me into their problems -maybe here´s not the best place to thank as they will probably never read it, but still- that doesn´t mean I won´t be listening to anyone that needs any help, but my need for money to pay my studies is atm paramount, as much as it pains me I´ll have to leave that place.

I´ll be six more months till I clear all my credits at school and on top of that I need to find some job, so it might be the roughest beginning of the year I´ve ever had. Oh, and I need to thank dear friend FMS as he listened to me when I was having the toughest time, thanks man, you´ve always been there when I need you.

On the light side, I moved to a new gym -owned by the school as those are really cheap- and some schoolmates of mine have decided to come with me, so now we hang around for a few hours a day, but they are such woozies they needed to rest for the week. Besides there I met this cool guy with a really interesting story, and I think I´m beginning to like him, wonder if he like´s me back and in what way,  all I can tell at this moment is I´m developing this weird northern Spain accent that I can´t stop nor notice and everyone else finds odd in me, but maybe they´ll never know why :P

So OK, maybe this post was futile but had to write it down for me, anyways, I´ll work things through, just know that if I´m AWOL for a while know is because life needs my full attention. Adiós tios!


Jan 26, 2010

A friend...

Warning: "Friendship" has too many meanings

For classified ads a "Friend" is someone willing to give you a  hand all the time

Would my friends please raise their hand?

Jan 24, 2010

Sunday Toon

...Dzyan style

Well for a brief explanation about this post, I recently came-out to a friend and it didn´t go as well as expected, I´ve had all those reactions one way or another and sometimes I fell like even when coming-out is a way to show ppl how much you trust them and let them in your life telling them a secret, things just get more complicated *sigh* well, guess not everyone is comfortable with having a friend that´s attracted to guys too, so here´s for Pyrrhic victories!

Love to all

Now, comment or succumb to my awesomeness!

Jan 20, 2010

Oh, I´ll get you...

Finally some time to post, sorry about not updating past days, homework made me its bitch-boy and wouldn´t let me off the shackles -wooh, S&M reference, hardly get one of those (the references not the S&M...well not that either, lol)- 

Any who...Training -running- went great, have you ever had an orgasm while running? well, I had six -yeah, I counted ´em, if you´ve ever had one you´d understand- here´s the part about the bad news, rest of the day went smoothly -or as smoothly as days go nowadays- and by night my ankle was aching a little once again, just a little, I wondered how could that have happened, remembered that after training got my cellphone to count my steps, turns out I took 19, 654 steps AFTER running, which is the same as 16 km. + 5 km running...so without any rest during the day I just screwed the friggin´ ankle once again. Next day I couldn´t walk properly... again.

Here´s the part about shitty news, yesterday while getting out of home I noticed someone broke into my brother´s car, and was in fact still inside the car, so I yelled at him, he started to run for it and without thinking about it ran after him like a mad man, now one thing you don´t get to do to a sprinter is run-away -where would my self-respect be afterward?-so I started gaining distance on him and noticed there was a guy waiting for him in a runaway car, just when I was about to get to him he jumped through the window and the car started moving like the devil was after them -and he was atm- but as fas as I run I can´t outrun a moving car, and that´s when it hit me, my f*çkin foot! definitely not a good idea. Yup, that was a big...

Soooo, yeah, I´m back at limping now and have to look for something else to do for a cardio work-out for the next few months til it gets healed.... or amputated, I go either way atm, so what will it be now? cycling? spinning? swimming -I wish, but expensive-? FML.

Love to all

Jan 17, 2010

Let´s Get Physical

So yesterday I went to buy new running shoes, everyone that knows me for more than two weeks knows I love to run, I was in the Track and Field team until six months ago when I had a bad injury, tomorrow will be my second attempt at doing it but now with new shoes, as last attempt turned out to leave me in bed and not able to walk for two weeks and limping for a month I´m pretty interested in tomorrow´s outcome.

So thinking of that got me thinking and remembering about my old days at the T&F team, the good old days where guys in shorts up to the upper thigh and Lycra t-shirts helped each other at warming up, we were good, by the time we finished you could see us all sweaty and hot as hell, but tbh, who wouldn´t I mean, we all started with a good leg work-out, who doesn´t like to assist at Squats? yelling "go down, deeper, deeper, YESS! ahh, there you go, now hold it! up now down again, faster!"

Oh, oh, I know, then comes the sit-ups, ya, we could´ve done them in the typical way but I was so friendly to everyone I had to offer my help there too

"Yes, you work that boy, yes, what you mean you´re done, give me 10 more, come on! trade places? ok but only cause it looks kinda fun."
And you can´t go around without working the back, Heck no! telling guys to lay down on their backs was too much of a treat to let that pass.

"What you mean I´m too low? you´re too low, arch that back!" I know, I´m a drill-sergeant but it´s for their own good. In fact I trained them so well I always got there second.

Coach always told me to keep my eyes in the first place, what he didn´t know is that I actually did the whole entire race :P

But at the end of it we were all really good pals, we hugged and spanked each other -another of the benefits from being second place- and had a little celebration every time training ended.

I wish! 

But we did have a good time. Anyways wish me luck tomorrow, we´ll see if I´m  able to walk after it -though maybe it´s Karma- Enjoy your Sunday.

Love to all

Jan 15, 2010

Boyfriend wanted

Seeking for a full-time fun-loving, energetic and outgoing person to love and hold.

At least 18 years old, driver´s license not needed, experience not necessary

Knows how to laugh and make people laugh, enjoy outdoors activities and the little things in life

All artistic skills welcomed. cooking skills are not a must but be willing to learn together is

Reliable and trustworthy.

Money not an issue.

A killer smile, punctuality and flexibility are required.

Must make an interesting conversation and be a good listener.

Available to travel for long periods of time during the summer.

Kissing skills are optional but will provide extensive training on a hands-on approach once you are accepted.

Excellent oral skills needed, Hot body a plus, clothing optional.

Must live within close driving range to the territory 

Must NEVER provide past boyfriends references

Location: Mexico city, Mexico
Compensation: Breathless moments every hour
Send contact information to: Lovelessinmexico@gmail.com

Is this really that hard to get???

Jan 13, 2010

The Endless Homework

Geeze! Homework just never stops, it keeps coming and coming at me, and work that has already come just doesn´t go away on it´s own, everyday more and more chores to do and it just doesn´t seem to "lighten-up" last semester at school I did it all, yelled at it, threw it to the floor and even cry and it just didn´t go away, so decided I should change strategies here.

So here´s a list of the things I´ve done to try and win some time to deliver homework on time:

1. Get the book from the library and brought it home
2. Open the book and find the needed chapters
3. Turn-on the computer to start writing down my analysis
4. Get online -that happens everytime computer is turned on-
5. Check mail, check mail, check mail -I don´t like getting friends, family and work together in the same room, why should I let them get together on my mail?-
6. Answer some e-mail
7. Check new posts on blogger
8. Prepare something to eat -now I´m hungry and can´t expect me to work on an empty stomach-
9. Clean everything I used -I would need to do it sooner or later and it won´t hurt no one if I do it right now, right?-
10. Get back to the computer -Oh look, someone tried to contact me on msn-
11. Have an interesting conversation of a girl and her sad sad story about why girlfriends can´t be trusted -her words-
12. Check mail, check mail, check mail
13. Take a nap -I can´t work while being sleepy-
14. Wake up -several hours later-
15. Clean my desk -with all that mess I can´t even concentrate-
16. Get a shower
17. Change the bed sheets -been a cold couple of weeks and need some warmer ones-
18. Rotate bed -should be done once a month, when was the last time I did this?-
19. Make bed
20. Check mail, check mail, check mail
21. Tweet about how much work I have yet to do
22. Chat with someone in MSN to tell them how homework is a bitch
23. Download music to create a "homework-mood"
24. Sing, Sing, Sing -found Regina Spektor´s album and can´t stop singing it-
25. Go to the gym -that always helps me  forget about the frustration about homework, besides, I deserve it, been hours since I´ve been doing homework-
26. Make a post about something nice that happened at the gym -wait, that was yesterday-
27. Comment on some bloggs
28. Check mail, check mail, check mail
29. Look for the book -I know I had it here somewhere, it was on top of the desk... Oh...-
30. Find the book -yay! I placed it in the bookshelf next to a book I have looking forward to read-
31. Read the book -the one I was looking forward to read, not the one from homework-
32. Watch some anime -my sister was watching it and been a while since last I practiced my japanese, yay!-
33. Go to school and try to explain to the teacher homework´s too damn hard and I don´t get anything I´m reading to get an extension
34. Renew library loan
35. Check mail, check mail, check mail
36. Make a quick post about how endless homework is these days

Which brings us to the present moment, there, see, I´m a victim of the environment that doesn´t allow me to concentrate, so STOP DISTRACTING ME!! :P

Love to all

P.S. is that cake I´m smelling? no? well, now I can´t do homework til I taste some cake, maybe I´ll bake one, been a long time since I last cook, Oh man! my sofa is dirty, I should get that clean... no, I´ll take it for reupholstering, no wait, I´ll do it myself....

P.S.S. Today I have a test for a class I´ve never taken and have no effin´ idea of what the class is about and it will constitute 100% of my grade, so please wish me luck.

Jan 12, 2010

The forbidden fruit

Is there anything more exciting than craving that which you cannot have?? steady my old heart. Ok, ok, let me start from the beginning, but first forgive if I type real quick, got lots of homework to do.

So today I called work because I got lots of homework -that never seems to end- and told them I´d take the day off. So went tot the gym really early to a place that´s a few blocks from my house, it´s been a long time since I walk these streets as I´m almost never home and got to go the exact opposite way. Anyways, I got to the gym and as I was the only human soul it got pretty boring, that was of course until I glanced out the window, I was on the third floor and could see a huge house across the street where a large group of young guys were gathering, they seemed too friendly hugging each other and laughing away,"Oh no!" -I thought- "I´d better go help them, they won´t be able to hug all those cute guys all by themselves".

So after a few more glances between reps, I realized they were all really cute and well-dressed, so I wondered "How come no one invited me?", so using all the street-wise I got when I was a kid riding my bike around the neighborhood tried to remember what that place was... until it struck me, THAT´S A LDS CHURCH, and not just that, THAT´S WHERE MISSIONARIES GET TOGETHER!

Anyways after some minutes of staring through the window -was alone, what can you expect from me? I´m only human after all- ended my workout routine and hit the showers. After a few minutes of getting ready I hit the street and while I was busy browsing for a particular song in my iPod, noticed someone was staring at me so I turned to see who it was and saw a little group of these boys that had crossed the street to buy juices and what-nots, among the group was a particular guy that was staring at me but when I looked up he looked away, he was cute so I stared at him while walking their way until he had to look at me, when he did I gave him my most earnest good-guy smile, he answered with one of his own and I swear I´ve didn´t know the human face could turn that shade of red :P  so that really made me smile and while I was half a block away I turned around and noticed he was checking me out as I was leaving, he really made my day, lol, I know I´m the worst, sorry everyone, but I didn´t force him do anything.

Anyways back to work but first a huge hug to every cute Mormon gay guy around :) -not to the ugly ones, they don´t deserve them, though if there is one, I´m still to find out-

Oh, and now a song that´s quite ad hoc and it got stuck in my head yesterday as I was falling asleep. It´s 11 years old already, can´t believe it.

Love to all

Jan 11, 2010

Today I shed tears for you

Just a quick and important message, I know I´m not the most religious guy around, nor the most serious, relevant or important. So I´ll let Ryan explain the situation at hand here.

When a person I care deeply as Ty needs help I´ll always be the first one to get there. Ty you are in my every thought, hope you feel better for all that´s good and sacred in this world... words overwhelm me and don´t know how to express how much I care for you, so please be okay. Hope you wake up real soon feeling better.

All my love to Ty

Jan 9, 2010

Let´s hear it for the boys!

Sunday, which means I´ll spend most of the day sleeping away to catch up on hours lost during the weekdays, so in order to make up for that I´ll talk about more important matters, so here I go:

First of all everyone MUST visit Ty at I´ll do tricks for you, he had an accident and I for once send him my best wishes, am worried sick about him but until he gives further info we´ll be kept in the dark as to what happened, can only wish for the best.

Back?? goody let´s carry on.

Now, Seth, he´s been feeling a little down last couple of days so I wish him to feel better soon and send him one million hugs all the way to *hint, hint* his blog.

Tra-la-la... oh! I´m just making time for people to go there and come back, don´t worry, I´ve got time...


It´s time to give a round of applause to the new-ish guys in blogtown 

Ok then; now I´d like to welcome back j from California, He does a Gentleman´s Romance and must admit I haven´ t heard from him before and although he´s just re-started I enjoy reading what he´s got to say, he writes really well and should be read by everyone IMHO.

Surely you´ve heard about Joshua from Africa, 19 and into the movie scene. He writes My Mortal Dream and though deadly I´ve learned about people living there and about traditions, a good blog to open your perspective on the whole country through the eyes of a young fellow as himself.

Let´s move on to Anton, from Anton´s House, he´s such a lovely guy and lately his life seems to be turning for the better, you should read about him, also he´s from -much to his dismay- New Mexico, and I wish him to keep building-on that confidence, oh, did I forgot to say he looks really cute in his profile picture? lol.

Oh, and talking about lovely Profile pictures you have to meet Sam from the UK, Sam Richardson that is, from A Bang Bang Blog, he´s barely starting to post though he´s been on Blogger since August, maybe he´s a Blog stalker ¬ ¬ but he writes what comes from his heart, and he likes Florence + the Machine, so he´s on the cool boys list :)

A huge *hug* to Tommy from Of the Male Persuasion, he´s from Australia and seems to be having a little rough time lately, I send him much love and and all the patience in the world. Cheer up mate :) we all get those kind of moments, but you´re deffo not alone.

Everyone back-up I just found the ultimate High School Dandy his name is Josh from Florida and he´s barely beginning his blog, in fact I´m proud to admit I´m his first follower :P so go say hi to him too.

Last but not least, We have Travis writing at All Nighter Wannabe he´s living life the only way I know how to live it, fast and making each day count *high five* lol.

It´s been brought to my attention that I´ve made a horrible mistake overlooking another recent blogger, BB from Beloved Boyd blog my deepest apology, in my defense your blog didn´t appear when tried to open your profile, sorry, I promise I´ll read your entries at my scarce waking hours, I mean, gay and mormon, sounds fascinating. Thanks for the heads-up.

So to all of you guys, WELCOME!!

bi sprogg
I know, a long list, but it´s worth it and all of them deserve your time and comments, I´m pretty sure they´ll all appreciate them. So if you have the time just:


P.S. if the -non- appearance of your name in this post has offended you in any way, comments, complains, f*çk you notes and Yo Mama jokes are always welcomed.

Jan 8, 2010

Going postal

Here's the mail, it never fails.
It makes me want to wag my tail.
When it comes I want to wail - Mail!

No, no, no, I think this has already been done...somewhere, but can´t  put my finger on it, still, takes a whole new meaning when sang by a grown up. Honestly who the f*çk came up with the idea of wagging my tail for the mailman?? -I mean sounds fun and all but not appropriate for a kid´s show- Answer: not a straight guy, that´s for sure.

Any ways, back to the subject of this post. Yesterday while getting home from school I got to my room and found a letter addressed to Your Majesty, at first I was a little skeptical, I mean I have seen this kind of things in museums and all but never one REAL letter, so after wondering how many disgruntled mail employees had used to attempt murdering someone -Some have ninja-ish abilities and throw them around like shurikens- finally  opened it.

Turns out was a Christmas card from Australia from fellow blogger -now MIA- Aaron, this needless to say made my day and renewed my Christmas spirit, wish I didn´t take down the Christmas tree at work just a few hours earlier. So anyways this letter is going right to next year Christmas tree -or maybe if I´m lucky enough I´ll get to get another one for next year *crosses fingers*- Thanks man love it and you too. -I´ll definitely have to thank him in person though-

Still I´m  surprised it only took 3 weeks for it to go all the way around the world while it will take me several years to attempt that same deed. Anyways just basking in happiness.

Love to all

Jan 5, 2010

Why I don´t trut anyone...

Argh! I must admit I´m in a bit of a crossroad right now, yesterday went back to work and today I´ll be back to school for some of the last classes I have yet to pass so wish me luck and a ton of patience.

Have some personal issues that still need to take care and guess it´ll need some time til I get there, but slowly things are settling and I´m finding my way in life.

Life is indeed confusing, but you know what I´ve figured out? Sometimes it´s not my fault, sometimes is the fault of the whole world that is sending double-messages here and there, but don´t take my word for it.


Some other times it´s over-alarmist 

And sometimes not pleasant enough

So if someday you feel like you´re lost and don´t know what to do next, don´t worry, PROBABLY IT´S NOT EVEN YOUR FAULT.

So don´t worry, just relax, smile and just go with your gut and always don´t ever forget:

Love to all.

Jan 3, 2010

Between a rock and a Hard thing

h, this is First post of the year for me and the last one of my vacations *everybody goes buuuu* I know I know, and now that all the festivity rush is almost gone -because in Mexico we also celebrate "Día de reyes" which is on January 6th to commemorate the day the 3 wise men got to see Jesus [or something like that] and have lots of presents for the small children and eat what we call "Rosca de Reyes"- we can all go back to our normal lives at last. Won´t say I didn´t enjoy the holidays -because no one likes nagging- but I will say that they were so  meh, they´re not even worth mentioning.

What intrigues me is now that distractions are gone, now that  it´s a new year, now that I´m -almost- out of school, NOW WHAT??

I think I should find a paying job, but my current job as a volunteer for the LGBTQ community down side is I don´t get payed and never will be, but no longer have any savings and can´t ask my parents for money because honestly, they don´t have any, I knew this job was only temporary but I grew to love it so much I don´t want to go anywhere.

Also I want to get into a Master´s degree, so I have to be careful about the dates and more importantly have to go through a selection process which really scares me shit-less, not sure I´m up for the level of the institution, besides from little experience in the area.

bi 6Artificial6

Guess this kind of thoughts usually erupt from every graduate now and then though.

There´s a saying I love from Lucius Annaeus Seneca which states "If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable". So right now I know I have to go somewhere, time for me to move again, hate being stagnant in a place even a place I love so much as work, have to get some long-term goals -at which I suck- and get up in my two shoes for a change, but I still don´t know what I´ll be doing next 6 months, too much at the moment.

Also I´m still looking for that person that makes me  go *Aww* at night


As the heart I so wanted seems to already been taken.

Any ways, sorry about the rambling, should´ve warned you before had to get this out some way or another.

Love to all