Childhood memories

Ok, so this one is about me and my past life, I have a lot of memories about my childhood, but today while talking to Liam and Drew I remembered something I haven't thought about in ages, something that's hitting all the world as we speak, the thing that makes the world go 'round, Money.

While I was a little kid and I mean five or eight years my family didn't have any economical need as we were pretty good, I even got to go to Disney World when I was seven : ) great memories there. However that all changed in 1994, when the elected president took over and the former president ran away to Switzerland leaving the whole country bankrupt. Have you ever heard the term "smelly poor", well, I couldn't even afford the smell. Got into delivering bottles of 20 L (4.40 Gallons) of water to people's homes when I was eight, it wasn't as hard as it might look like, although delivering to the third floor and beyond was the catch.

So you think being attracted to guys and adolescence is hard? try doing it while trying to feed your family and then you tell me about hard. Weirdest part is, I'm the middle son and I worked to help my older brother to get through the univesity, I'm not complaining, I've always been the hard worker -still it wouldn't have hurted him to help a little- and someway or another got to highschool, then I started to work for my parents, helping them sell food at the same middle-school I used to attend months before -Oh, yeah, they were there while I was studying too, most people would be ashamed their parents at their schools day in day out, not me, I was proud of them- but left-overs were pretty good, my dad hasn't always been the cook he is now, but he HAD to learn, and later I would too, grades weren't that good at school, but I was tired by the time I got there, but at least I could eat something before going, THAT was a great difference.

Got into the Uni, started studying chemistry and microbiology, stopped helping my parents to study real hard, at the third year I realized I wasn't cut to do something like being in a laboratory studying the causes of diseases, I wanted to help people, and I knew I could create vaccines, help people with infections, but I wouldn't be working with people, I would be working with lab-rats and the like. So dropped out and started teaching english -I know, mine isn't that good either, but you stand in front of a class telling them you know more then they'll listen-
after that I got into psychology as a last minute choice, I wanted to listen to people's concerns and help them out, still not knowing what was up with me and trying to be part of the "normal" ppl I couldn't get to "explore" the same sex relationships, up until then I was pretty worried with surviving to get into any kind of relationships -except for my first gf which dumped me just before I quited at the Uni- when I finally accepted I liked boys was the time I decided I have found the community I want to be part of and help get stronger : ) I could also like to work at a school as a counselor, but maybe later.

So there you go, a little more about me, so if you were to ask me why I don't care about money, I would say, I lived without it for a long long time, and if you were to ask me why I want to help people, I would say, wouldn't you?

That's me in a nutshell, no, it wasn't meant to make you feel pity about me -hate pity- nor I feel ashamed about myself, as a matter of fact I'm proud of myself, been a long way to be who I am today, I mean, I'm not swimming in money, but have enough to be here today with you, and truth be told, that's all that matters to me. Be happy and enjoy today, you might miss it tomorrow.
Love to all
Me

Home at last

Well, I'm home now, and let me tell you two things that might answer Aek's comment, yes, the exam was that easy and yes, I am that good, tests are the only thing that takes me under ten minutes to finish :P and would like to thank everyone's comments on all my latest posts, thank's a plenty for your support on my Party pooper one, and in my Such is life I'm so glad it did something for you, just wanted to write my thoughts out, and if only make you smile a bit like goleftatthefork, thank you so much for your support. Also I'VE GOT NEW READERS!! :) let's begin with y78ilm and his blog The pursuit of what matters to me, after that we've got JC from Who's Life Am I Living?, now, sadly I haven't have had the opportunity to talk to either of them, however I have had the chance to talk to the techguyinshorts, he's just starting, he's got this blog @techguyinshorts, and he's a really nice guy, writes a blog with his boyfriend too about tech stuff, should go take peek.

I'm always happy to welcome newcomers, and as such I really don't know how to say goodbye to blogs, it's actually the first one that leaves while I'm here, I'm pretty new here and so don't know if this gets easier with time or it always will hurt like this, either way, so here it goes good bye Andre, you have brought to me such joy and I will really miss you so much, damn, don't be a stranger and pay a visit once in a while, you SOB, you're really hard to say goodbye to.

Sorry, I'll get a hold of myself...

Ok, so on a lighter side, I had my hair cut on the weekend -which was all I could do besides taking my sister to the movies- and you most know something, just as with my birthdays I hate the day I go to go cut my hair, I always walk out feeling that I don't like the job done, and also like my birthdays I only have two each year.

The lady that cuts my hair is actually a 50 yo woman whose sense of what's trendy died in 1985, and as such can't get to cut my hair the way I like it, I know, I should find someone I like, no such luck, have spent the last 20 years of my life looking for that someone and still no such thing.

*sigh* well, right now I just need a shoulder in which I can lean on

By wattaip

I haven't forgotten the thank you I was going to give you, so for each one that got to say something nice to Liam here goes a present on my behalf, valid in everystate from Monday to Sunday : )

By Fer

See you when I see you.
Love to all
me

Testing testing

Gossh, did a three hour exam in ten minutes, now I have a recess long enough that I'm falling asleep, hate all this free time and nothing good to do with it, posting now in my dad's ipod which I managed to steal -don't tell him- and wasting my time with it, doesn't have messenger so I can't chat with anyone :/
So today I might post something later at night, still have another test in a while and won't study at all for it's rubbish, rubbish about psychological tests in the industry, so I'll post the surprise a little later. Til Then.
Love to all
Me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIAM!!

A short post for the time being, but by no means less important.
Today is Liam's birthday, it's been a whole year since last one, it's a paramount  day for someone to be congratulated, specially when you're not feeling so good, as he is, I know that kid and love him so, so if you have the time and a kind heart go to his blog and wish him a happy birthday, I know it would mean a lot to me and even more for him : )

By gintonic13

In the mean time, I send him the biggest, strongest, non-lethal hug I can offer and wish him a wonderful day and wish it stops raining in his eyes, for no one is worth crying for. And a gift to every one that visits his blog too as I'm feeling like a giver today. I'll add it in my next post, already have it with me -but it's a surprise-

Have a great one all
Love to all
Me

Such is life

Funny how life works isn't it? as much as I struggled to go out today and not stay home for I knew I was only going to get desperate and a feeling of imprisonment I stayed, all day long; which is actually the thing I was kind of meant to be doing in the bigger scheme of life of which we're all part, now, I don't personally believe in such thing as fate, for nothing is fated to happen, no paranormal force writes divine scripts which we are supposed to play with no way out, believe what you might, we are but threads in this infinite tapestry of people that composes the realitiy we all live in, and as threads often do, some threads touch each no matter what color or pattern they are part of, they touch, in some point or the other they touch, not all touch each other, some are too far away to be by each other's site but still, when the tapestry is woven around by a strong wind the fabric grazes, in different places, places the cords that build it -which they didn't know even existed- meeting up with new and different and exciting colors, different textures, different material, but threads all the same, some are a little stained, some are pure and clean and some others are just filthy, you could as well cut around them and no one would ever miss it, but still would leave a horrible void and then the mantle would have lost something important when looked from afar.


What this means? I'll let you do the thinking.

I wanted to go out today, more than anything, had to do a bunch of things because I didn't want to be home all day and still I just couldn't do it, not because of a physical or emotional problem, but I think here was the place I was supposed to be today, got to have a lot of emotional conversations, had my deal of laughs, of surprises and tears, and as always I owe it all to the people here. Still life is something bigger than what I can think of, such a big world and we're all but tiny pieces not more important than a grain of sand in our singularity, but as important as a mountain as a whole, but don't think wrong, the grain at the top should by any means feel more important than the one on the bottom. Still not making any sense am I?


All I know is at the moment I'm writing this: some guy is getting laid in Utah and having -hopefully- the time of his life, another boy in Cali is feeling down because he just broke up with someone important to him, down in Ireland two guys should be sleeping happily knowing they are alike and close together and never knew it before, a man is going to wake up to his lifepartner and kiss his offspring and carry on with the same life he has for years now with a little secret of his own, and a boy in the US is probably getting a mail from me were I tell him I'm so sorry I've failed to him even though he's probably having the time of his life, and I don't even know why I feel I've failed misserably in helping him *sigh* and the only thing they all have in common is I know them, and love them so much, each and everyone of them -though not only them but most of the people I've met- entered into my life like a burglar in the night and stole my heart.


Still, funny thing, you ever wondered why the URL of my blog is Loveless in Mexico? besides the obvious part that I'm in México, why Loveless when I always sign all my comments with "Love"?

Scheiße it's so late now, have to run into my bed now, chat to you another day.

My love to all
Me

Party pooper -_-'

How to ruin one's fun? I don't know, ask my ex-bf, he certainly knows how to kill the mood of happiness that's been building up all week long. *sigh* All I wanted today was go out to a nice place in the evening and chill for a bit, get to know some people and relax, I've been busy all week long and when it's finally the day when I can go outside and catch a movie, my ex comes around and gets inside my life again, Shit, hate when he does that, I know that by tomorrow I'll be better, but atm I just want to freaking shout at someone, I'm that angry at him, also my brother just let one of my dogs out into the street and there's a fat chance we'll never find the blasted dog again, but I'm too angry to talk to him now.

So what better time than now to remember all the good stuff that went down during the week so I can get to calm down a little, I'll even use an old technique Seth used to practice and highlight the important stuff so you can jump from parragraph to parragraph without wasting a lifetime reading everysingle word I type, after all it's not your fault I'm this way

Monday: I went to a conference titled: "Care of the terminally ill patient", interesting speech from the doctors, talking about the use of morphine on terminal patients, alas they didn't hand out free samples, what's worst it was the other side of the state so had to take an hour bus ride to get there from school, on the way back it was a two hour ride b/c it rained. It was fun, was at a huge private school with tons boys and girls, all of them so bloody show-offs it was just a huge turn down for me :S and as it was so far away I had no school

Tuesday: Was at work and my brother told me he had just won a ticket for a beer tasting, I congratulated him and told him I was so jealous, he told me I shouldn't be, he had won that ticket for me cause he doesn't drink, it was a great day, got to taste a lot of Belgium beer, quite tasty, I even got to drink a pint of a beer that's fermented with cherries, so it smells and tastes like a cherry on it's own, it was a two hour party with everyone ending with eyes red-blood, drunk and having a good time -no one interesting there though-

Wednesday: I don't remember anything particularly interesting about wednesday, still a day that just flew by.

Thursday: On this day was the first ever "Sexual diversity conferences" at the biggest and most important public school Mexico has, my boss was giving a participant and so I wanted to go, it also was a good hour and a half away bus ride on a really hot day -hate hot days- It was really interesting, and got the chance to see my boss doing what he know best to do, teach youngsters about sex, he's really good I tell you. Still was a hard day as I had to teach a class at school and ride another 1 1/2 hour bus ride to school.

Friday: everything was perfect, even had plans to go and see some Horror movie festival, with old movies played at an abandoned house, each room has it's own movie and you can go to any movie you want, it's pretty good, but right now I don't feel like going out.


That's my week so far, I guess I'll go to sleep and calm down a little, I just had to let this out. Still, I participated on Tyler's game on a previous post, so go and check it out, and why not, play it too. for now I say good bye, I am in the dire need of some loving :(

me

I'm it!

I'm so late in my posts I'm ashamed of posting again, a fully eventful week it's been, lots of good and unforgettable moments, and absolutely no time to comment on them, still I will get to it but not atm, right now I've got more important issues to address. Like, I've got a new follower, a fellow blogger that's just starting out, so give a warm round of applause to Brett from Who's Keeping the Score?, a young boy from Australia, thanks to him I knew before anyone else in Mexico about the storm of orange clouds of What was that? I don't remember I just know it was pollution, either ways, he hasn't been on msn lately -or not that I know of- so I'm still waiting for my chance to exchange some greetings. Ooh, before I forget -I should make a blog with that name, have so many things to remember- I got an AIM account named Lovelessinmexico -Pretty original huh?-, don´t know why really, just felt as if I needed one, still, I´m in all my accounts at the same time -blessed Pidgin- and if you have either one I´ll be there.

On the other hand, My first "interactive" game!!! posted by Tyler of Thoughts of a Gay Boy in Highschool -I love his picture header btw-  I was tagged by Aek and I'm always up for a good game, specially when life seems to be so absorbent.

The rules: Answer a series of questions and find a picture to represent each question, then create a picture mosaic on this site. Make the mosaic 4 columns by 3 rows. The questions are:

1. Where are you from? (You can choose to answer with your country, state/province, or city.)
2. What's your favorite food?
3. What's your favorite drink?
4. What's your ideal/favorite (future) job/career?
5. What's your favorite thing about yourself?
6. What's the place you most want to visit?
7. What's your favorite body feature on someone else?
8. What's your favorite movie?
9. What's your favorite TV show?
10. Choose one word that best describes you.
11. What time period would you most like to have lived in (in the past)?
12. What's the next thing you're (probably . . .) going to purchase?

1. Mexico city ftw.
2. Seafood, no, wait, was the question what kind of food makes me nauseous and puke afterwards? oooh, no my bad, mmh, my favorite food then would be a green salad with stripes of chicken-breast, mustard and honey, damn, that made me hungry.
5. The good'ol OJ, nothing beats it, can drink an entire jug at every meal, luckily oranges here are as easy to find as mosquitoes, and almost as cheap.
4.. I'm aiming to become a community psychologist, the kind of job that is also known as a community facilitator, exploting the group's potentials and strenghtening it from inside, good job, not overly demanded, as many people doesn't even know it exists, 'sides I get to help a whole group of people instead of only one during each psychotherapy.
5. My hands, I love 'em, even if atm they look like an old person's ones -I hate hand lotions- if you could only know the things I do with them ; )
6. What's the place that guy I love so much lives in?? Can't remember, guess I'll have to go to his blog and check it out once again, in the mean time if it´s up to me, without the intention of meeting the person I love, then if I were as lucky as to visit Germany in this lifetime I would just drop dead, so careful, how badly you want me dead?
7. Smiles, I just can't have enough, oh, but you want a body part, then I take the lips, don´t ask me what I´d do with them.
8. Without a doubt Pulp Fiction is one of the best movies ever made, always enjoy it with a Royal with cheese burger and fries.
9. So many questions, I wasn´t expecting some kind of Spanish inquisition!... but then again, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition : P Monty Python´s Flying Circus, best show of all times.
10. One word eh? Is world´s-best-lover-ever a word or two? guess I´ll have to take my thesaurus out... let´s see... ooh, here it is, the only entry for that one is "Fer" and there´s even a picture of me : ) another happy costumer must´ve written it, I´m so flattered.

11. Ancient Greece, just imagine, the Parthenon, the theater, even better, think of the Pankration, naked men wrestling for all  people to see, those guys knew how to throw a toga party!
12. The next thing I´m buying will be boarding passes, sadly it will be only for the subway train, wish them to be airplain tickets, alas I have no money.

So there you have it, now I must do to others what was done unto me, and pass this jolly good game to other victims players, so my pick are my good friends.

Octavius from The Mercenary... Octavius...
Phil from SeePhilblog

Lonely Boy from Life sucks...Stick to theater
My newest reader Brett from Who´s keeping Score?
and last but not least
Cougar from Confessions of Your Gay Best Friend I would love to read your answers : )

Love to all.
Me