Suck

Has it really been that long? man, that sucks! and talking about sucking this post will be filled with things that suck!

bi Purebe

Unfortunately not the kind of fun suck, but the kind of suck that make you go "buuuuh", but first of all I do apologize for not updating this thing lately, work´s been a bitch.

So who/what/where sucks? Work, the suckiest thing ever. Been doing some thinking and even though I enjoy doing what I do, work has become more of an annoyance each passing day, it´s not only the fact that I get no pay at all, but the fact that I am -without trying to make me a saint- the only person there that seems to care a flying rat´s ass about doing any work at all, and I´m not the only one that´s unhappy with this, people that are in need of help, co-workers and pretty much everyone that knows about the place. For example, while my boss seems to be too busy working on his Farmville, I´ve got three really stressing projects to develop so now I´m pretty angry, stressed and outraged that I´m the only one that wants this place to go anywhere. ARGH!

So where´s this going? well, decided I can´t keep doing this anymore, it´s like I own the place and won´t get any pay, so I´m walking out of there as soon as I´m done with my work, which won´t take me more than a couple of weeks, in the meantime I´ll look for a job in the english teaching industry -again- and from there maybe I´ll be able to undergo a masters degree, and maybe in the near future I´ll be able to go back to the whole NGO business, but right now it´s not the best moment, maybe later because I enjoy working for the people and have become quite good at what I do, PR projects.

Oh, almost forgot, made an account for something named Dailybooth -here- so if you want to meet the face of the blogger you so love you should check it out. Promise to update more frequently.

Love
Me

Today I found out I have a stalker lol and I´ll answer a couple of  questions on a comment

But first I want to thank Aek for his comments week-in week-out, thanks man.

So it all began three months ago when school started, I have a class in the morning to which I only had to go one day a week for three weeks and then nothing til today, which is a sweet deal. On my very first class we were told we had to work for an NGO so we could build our humanitarian side, as I already work in one was asked to give a class on the organization, which I give without any further problems and then I stopped going because I already cover the profile for that class.

In the morning I went to school to check on that subject´s grade, at the classroom there where like five students besides me so I get my grade, I sign it and prepare to leave, when suddenly a guy comes out of the blue and starts asking me questions about the place I work at, I could see he was gay so I thought he wanted to ask me a question about... I don´t know, something related to what I do there, however that wasn´t the case, we just talked for like two minutes and I was on my way out not before asking him his name -I don´t know why but I´ve developed this weird thing about asking people´s names and remembering them, also I´m really good at it now- we said our byes and I was out of there.

Ours later -thanks to lovely Mexico city´s Subway and its holdups- I get home and check my mail and see I´ve got an invitation on Facebook from someone I don´t know -I don´t accept people I don´t know btw- however the name was an alteration of this guy´s name and had his picture, now I´ve gotta tell you, to find my profile on facebook is not easy as it doesn´t have my picture but the cute little drawing you see in my profile at blogger, so to know he found me was a little weird, it must´ve been difficult to him to find me, so I see him online and ask him if he was the guy I was talking with earlier on he told me he was, so out of curiosity I asked him how he found my account; well -he said- I saw you hanging out with X and thought you might be friends, looked for you and there you where; -to which I replied- how could you tell it was me? moreover, how did you know how to spell my name?; -after a few moments of silence he tells me- Ok, I lied, after talking to you I asked the teacher for the grade list and looked you up so I could know how to spell it, -I was- Hmm, Ok...., But I´m not stalking you, Riiiight. LOL so it was weird, first time it ever happens to me.

 Oh, he´s a nice guy we talked for hours and he´s so out there, one of the few go-getters I know to this day, so anyways it  was really cool getting to know him, afterwards I had to go eat something and to the gym and didn´t see him again for the day, we´ll see how about tomorrow :P

And now for the big question asked to me by FrankR from Beautiful Veracruz México -tried to answer to him directly bia e-mail but it didn´t have an address to reply to- his questions are "You're mexican, aren't you? why do you write in English?"
Dear Frank, I am Mexican indeed, born and raised in Mexico city for the last 25 years and I can assure you without the intention of scoring any extra merits that I love Veracruz, with some luck I´ll go to one of your gay bars at the port or maybe to Xalapa.

On your second question, I write in english because when I started doing this blogging thing I didn´t want people that know me to find out about it as an ex of mine had a blog in spanish and I didn´t want to have the same follower as him and then him knowing I had a blog and all that, so from that day I ´ve written 100 something posts and I´m already comfortable with doing them on english, besides my redaction has improved and I feel great writing without having to check if my spelling was right and the tense I used was correct every three words -not that I don´t make mistakes, it´s just that I don´t care any longer, lol- so there you go, a huge hug to you, keep sending those questions people, I love ´em. take care and see you next time :)

Love
Me

Long great weekend

Woah, it was a WILD week-end, still don´t know how I´m awake and/or alive : P

I guess I should write it down right now just before I forget or fall for a long hibernation time to reconstitute myself.

On Friday I promised a friend I would take him out because he was feeling depressed, he´s  having some issues with his girlfriend and I just wanted to make him feel better because I´m always the "good guy" with a bunch of friends, however I didn´t tell him where I was going to take him, so I took him to a friendly gay bar downtown where we both had a great time. One thing I did learn from our night out was there´s a huge difference between gay/straight bars goers; a clear example of this is that when you go to a straight bar you go to get drunk, while when you go to a gay bar you go to have a drink and dance the night away. So he wanted to drink and I wanted to danced :/

So everything was great and I menaced him that if he ever got depressed again next time I´d take him to a trans bar, hahaha.

So we got home and got set to sleep around 2 a.m. -I know, early but you have into account that bars close at 3 a.m. in Mexico city-  problem was that right before we got any sleep he opened a chatterbox and just wouldn´t  stop talking until really early in the morning, tbh I don´t recall a word he said, just that my bed is too small to fit me and a straight guy, so if nothing was going to happen I wanted to get some sleep already cause I had big plans for the next day.

So Anyways, next morning I accompany him to the bus and got in touch with Mr. Urs that was in town. I have to say that I´m afraid he might have gotten the worse impression of me as I was always late whenever I told him I´d be around, so sorry about that :(

Anyways, we got together and visited some mexican artisan shop I didn´t even know existed -can´t  blame me, living in Mexico just doesn´t want me to have souvenirs from my hometown- and later headed home for some sleep, afterwards went with my brother to see the movie Nosferatu being played with live music, which was really cool and I enjoyed it, performers were really charismatic and made the movie extremely enjoyable.

Later I got together with Mr. Urs again and we went clubbing, must say I was schooled in dancing by his husband, but was fun to no end. Anyways, I for once had a great time and drank alcohol like they were giving it away for free. In the end I remembered it had been like hours since I had something to eat at all and was surprised how I wasn´t stinking drunk for drinking so much on an empty stomach.

So it was a fantastic night. Oh, and Mr, Urs, I´m sorry for making you walk for an hour or so, next time I´ll pay for the cab.

Need to sleep, take care and be good, see you later.

Love

Me

I do my little dance on the catwalk

So break is here, two days off work and a week off school, nothing could go wrong but the fact that... now I´m working at home.

Thank you everyone for your kind comments, your hugs and your letters they really cheered me up when I needed it the most, thank you for your visits that always make me feel like people give a damn about what I think and thank you for all the new guys that read my blog.

So on my search to get away from work and in the spirit of holidays -probably not what these days are meant for, but who cares anyways?- I went with a co-worker to the cheapest, dirtiest, wildest gay bar I´ve ever been, was so cool in that small room, the people I saw *phew* it was INSANE!

bi koony

I even got to dance in a platform and MAN! I never thought I´d dance on one of those things, it was cool, in fact the wildest part was when the spotlight stuck on  me, you just don´t know what you´ll do when everyone inside a gay club is watching you and shouting and whistling, it was an awesome experience.

However by far one of the coolest things that have happened this week to me is I met this guy -on blogger, so don´t get excited- and he´s really sweet and cute, his name is Manu and he just happens to be Mexican too, now he´s a really nice guy and you should go read his blog NOW!!

So you go read that blog and I´ll write pretty soon, take care.

Love
Me

I need a break from this

No, not a break from my blog -I´ve taken a break for too long for that- I need a break from my heartbreak.

However before anything might happen I want to thank to everyone for their kind comments, their mails and love  all got to me and made me feel so much better.

Here´s what has happened, my bf and I, we talked things over, really really fast as he as always had no time to waste, I understand him though, and knowing that he´s got too much going on atm and I had to let him go -why people say that? it´s  not as if he wanted to go, he just had to- it´s a not the right moment kinda thing and what I want is someone that shows a little interest, maybe just want not to feel indifference out of him, maybe I´m the one that´s imagining these kind of stuff, however I wasn´t feeling like living with that, don´t know if I make any sense.

So lately I´ve been feeling really down, on Friday I decided not to go to work, one of the greatest things about working with gay people is we get depression days, haha, kinda funny if you think about it, guess I found just the fitting place for me to work. I know I´ll be OK given time, right now I just want to be alone.

And to say goodbye to this guy that wasn´t supposed to be with me at this moment, the only song I like from Green day as it makes me feel all tingly inside every time I listen to it


Green Day - Time Of Your Life
Cargado por BulleT_iN_A_BiBle. - Videos de música, entrevistas a los artistas, conciertos y más.

Love
Me

I´ve got an Owie

Well, actually what I´ve got is a f´çkin´ heart failure -a metaphorical one- here´s the deal

As I´ve told you before my boyfriend doesn´t enjoy showing affect in public spaces, therefore he doesn´t kisses or hugs me anywhere but private places, usually I get to steal a kiss from him every now and then and I´m happy, he´s happy, everyone´s happy, right? wrong, dead wrong, what happens when I´m the only one that seems to make any moves at all -I mean trying to kiss him- how do I know? cause I stopped trying to kiss him and he has not once tried to kiss me.

So OK, I put up with that cause I´m supportive, I don´t care, no affection in public? whatever, so I try to get us to get some time for ourselves, it´s been now four weeks that I´ve been trying to get him to go out on a weekend for a date and the result is I´m still waiting for him to make some time, OK you´ve got a life and things to do, but always?

Now you come feeling bad, I do everything to make you feel better, make you smile and forget about your problems, put aside all my issues and listen and try to make you happy, cause I care about you, but one question assaults me... do you care about me?


Anger? I can deal with, sadness? peace of cake, insecurity? my day job, Indifference? That´s the one that makes me feel like shit.

Has this relationship ended without me realizing? are we just like friends now?

WTF is going on?? Feels like I´ve given so much and now I´m left alone, and yet it feels so good when he´s around; one  thought is making his way from the back of my mind, one that says I should just leave, let him go and do whatever I want after that, I wish with all my might it doesn´t come to that, I enjoy his company and I know he cares about me, but I wish he would show it, if I´m as important I wish he would show it to me in any way.

Don´t know what to do now

Trippin´

Today was the day I got home, was in a place far away, you see my grandmother was suffering from depression as her brother died a few days ago, so being the concerned grandson that I am had to go cheer her up, which is easier said than done -yeah I know, sound like I´m Mr. Goody two-shoes, but you know what, I don´t f*çkin care, it´s MY grandma, if you wouldn´t do that for yours then I´m sorry for you.-

Now, let me clear this thing for you, you might think all grandmothers are the all loving, cookie baking, scarf knitting old lady that sits in a rocking chair by the fireplace, heck no, my grandmother refuses to get old and will do anything to prove she´s so young, so for her knowing that her brother died is a huge blow as she´s so young for her family to start dying. So anyways, grandma is a hard person to deal with, she´s the matriarch of the whole family and her feelings are airtight, so for her own good had to get there and help her let her feelings out before she had any kind of health problem; so after a weekend of cathartic work I was more than happy to come back home. Don´t get me wrong, I love her, she´s just complicated.

The whole weekend was deprived of internet which made me realize how much I´ve become an addict of this thing, also, her house is in the middle of Still-town, Mexico, so it´s boring as heck and it´s got nothing to do... well, only thing it´s got is a beach just across the street which was almost empty, but have to admit, a beach all for yourself is not half as fun, still, weekend was filled with a pronounced learning curve in family history which was cool as one has to know where he comes from to know where he´s heading, so right now I´m just tired from the five hour bus trip at night where I can never catch any kind of rest; right now I just need a good night worth of sleep and I´ll be fine. Oh, in case you´re wondering, today was a spare day at work and school so I took the chance to stay home and rest all day.

So anyways, cool to see you all around again, I´ll see you again really soon -I hope- :P

Love
Me